IS IT ALL FAKE?

This is a topic that was brought up by a friend of mine and it is something that I have dealt a lot with when I was finding my way out of my depression, and I also believe its something that we all go through at one point or another.


You hear adults talking a lot about it, saying when you're a teenager you are trying to find who you are, but I honestly think you never fully know who, or what you are. Yes you know you're a human being, but there is always the questions of what do I believe in? What should I be doing? Who am I? Am I doing the right thing in life, and so forth. This is where sometimes we get caught up in an act of who we think we should be, then who we actually are.

A thing my friend kept saying is, I don't know who I am anymore, no one will ever know me, I just don't know who I am. This is because she had been acting for such a long time, trying to be who she thought everyone would like, that she became blind and confused and was not able to remember what was reality and what was fake.

This happened with me. I had lived in such a dark mindset that I didn't know in a way what happiness was like, I only knew from what I had read, or who my old self was and other things like this. That sounds really heavy, but I think we all do have these moments, where we ask ourselves all the who/what/why questions, and that is OK.

So now you may be thinking whats the point to me writing about this. I'm no expert and even if it's just for my friend reading this, or only 5 other people reading this, I at least thought I should discuss it. But I also want to try and give you some advice or maybe a solution that will help you. I don't fully know how I got out of all my confusion, but I do know a few things that helped me, and if these don't work for you or you don't want to do them, then at least you had some awareness that you're not the only one. So...

1. Firstly, make a list of all the things you love/enjoy/like (These can be anything or something you like to do, there is no limits, this is only for you to see).
2. Make a list of positive attributes about yourself, what you like about yourself not what others do. (minimum 10 and there is no max, its harder then it sounds :) 
3. Think back to the last memory you can when you really felt like yourself. This may be recent, a while ago, or maybe you can't even remember and thats OK. 
4. Finally change the self talk. For example instead of saying, "I don't know who I am anymore." Say "I fully understand who I am and I appreciate myself." This may sound stupid and I thought it was completely stupid and a waste of time once a upon a time. But it does work, you just have to do it. 

So this is your choice, you can either choose to do 1 or even all the activities I suggested. Or you can do none and not even worry about it and forget about this all in under 5 minutes. But where would that get you? Even if this don't-know-who-I-am thing isn't something that's your problem or something that you have never faced before, these activities do help in general and give you just a little more clarity, and who doesn't want that? 

So its your choice :) 

Till next time 

XOXO

The Girl With Red Shoes